April 17, 2009
matt made me help him carry a 40 inch television across wisconsin avenue this week.  it was freezing and i was wearing a thin shirt and so that horrid phenomenon that happens to girls when it’s cold out happened to me.  whatever - i can DEAL with it.  but clutching onto the heavy and cumbersome box i could not conceal myself enough for my liking. we schlepped past commuters, residents and a couple of hundred college students waiting to pack themselves into a bus.  i would have to stop and put the box down an average of every 20 feet (that’s a generous estimate) - instead of matt responding to a word like “STOP” or “EMERGENCY” he told me that i had to make up a SAFE WORD that he would be able to hear. i wanted my safe word to be EMERGENCY, but i knew that i could do better.  i could be clever.  i could laugh through the pain.  but it was hard to think of the perfect name. matt decided the safe word should be “NANTICOKE”.  it’s a town in northeastern pennsylvania with about 10,000 depressed residents.  it’s called the concrete city.  i’ve never been there, but i’ve seen it from the highway. during our schelp i forgot the safe word and needed to put the box down.  “emergency… emergency!” i said.  no response.  finally:  “nanticoke!” like a camel that responds only to reigns and gutteral threats, matt obediantly put down the colossal television.

matt made me help him carry a 40 inch television across wisconsin avenue this week.  it was freezing and i was wearing a thin shirt and so that horrid phenomenon that happens to girls when it’s cold out happened to me.  whatever - i can DEAL with it.  but clutching onto the heavy and cumbersome box i could not conceal myself enough for my liking.

we schlepped past commuters, residents and a couple of hundred college students waiting to pack themselves into a bus.  i would have to stop and put the box down an average of every 20 feet (that’s a generous estimate) - instead of matt responding to a word like “STOP” or “EMERGENCY” he told me that i had to make up a SAFE WORD that he would be able to hear.

i wanted my safe word to be EMERGENCY, but i knew that i could do better.  i could be clever.  i could laugh through the pain.  but it was hard to think of the perfect name.

matt decided the safe word should be “NANTICOKE”.  it’s a town in northeastern pennsylvania with about 10,000 depressed residents.  it’s called the concrete city.  i’ve never been there, but i’ve seen it from the highway.

during our schelp i forgot the safe word and needed to put the box down.  “emergency… emergency!” i said.  no response.  finally:  “nanticoke!”

like a camel that responds only to reigns and gutteral threats, matt obediantly put down the colossal television.